True romantic love develops slowly and gradually, while infatuation develops at almost no time. True love always starts slowly; because you have to know the person before you can truly love that person. Those who rush into marriage learn by sad experience of self-made miseries. Infatuation is rushing into a bad decision, while true love is attracted in the total personality of the person. Infatuation is mainly interested in the physical features, which depends on few non-sense things, while true love is attracted with most of the qualities of the one loved.

True love affects your whole personality. Willing to learn, adjust and change to bring out the better qualities. Infatuation is blind, illusionary and fantasy, trying to believe that the only thing that matters is their love for each other. True love is not only interested in the whole person but that interest is growing warmer as the day goes by. In infatuation, the interest for each other grows between hot and cold if not freezing.

True love upholds that the most important person in the whole world next to Christ is the one you love. Infatuation revolves only around the merry-go-round of fantasy, always searching for someone new. Sexual purity is not replaceable

Separation and distance make true love fonder, but infatuation will not survive the test of separation or distance but will seek happiness in another person. True love always cultivates to nurture the relationship, always complimenting never dominating. True love causes two different personalities to grow intimately together that even a short separation  will help in evaluating that emotional love.

True love will live through quarrels and lots of disagreements-learning how to handle conflicts with poise. Infatuation may do a lot of kissing and making up but later may declare war that may never be solved. True love can easily resolve quarrels and disagreements for healthier relationship. Infatuation can ignite little disagreement into a massive forest fire leading into permanent break-up.

While true love is concerned about giving way to improve and build stronger relationship, infatuation is concern only about getting and receiving from the relationship for personal gains and interest. True love is always unselfish, always giving.  Infatuation is always waiting to receive and getting. True love dwells in genuine humility and sacrifice for the one love. Infatuation dwells in human ego and castle of arrogance.

True love is always responsible, willing to pay the cost, willing to endure hardship and suffering. Infatuation is always ready to escape into the open sea of unreliability. True love is not love at first sight but the result of knowing and accepting the person just as he is. Love requires knowledge.

 Some people are infatuated (not in love) with God, which they did not know about, as they are infatuated with a man or with a woman that they did not know. True romantic love distinguishes between a body and a person. Choosing a girl because of her beautiful figure is unstable criterion. She might become Coca-cola shape (in cans) in just next few years. Selecting a guy for his physique and good looking face is a treacherous decision that may result to a lifetime of suffering. A person who easily fall in love with the appearance will also easily fall-out of love.

True love generates respect. Erotic lover who whispers sweet nothing in private but tear you down in public is like a clown. He is using another person to produce laughter by giving his lover bad remarks. Such person will do well in circus but not in the family. True love is self-giving; it is not what you can get from another person but what you can give with out expecting anything in return. The passionate desire for her/his body is not love but lust. Any prostitute can fully satisfy that burning desire.

True love can thrive without physical expression until full commitment for marriage. If your only reason for having a sweetheart is to have someone to hug and caress- better buy yourself a life size doll. True love will not pay with sex and escape. It will not hurt the other person after getting what he/she likes. True love is willing to pay the full cost of responsibility.

True love seeks to build a life and permanent relationship of marriage. The objective and goal of any relationship is marriage. Marriage is a triangular relationship between God, a man and a woman, not a triangle between three persons. Lust will not settle for octagon. True love is not for experimental and trial purposes. The basic principle is not to be involved with anybody you are not willing to marry.

Get involved only after you are physically, emotionally and spiritually prepared. True love embraces difficult serious and difficult responsibility. Marital responsibility is far more than money. It is commitment to love the other person come what may. Lollipops and roses have nothing to do with true love.

True love can postpone gratification of sexual passion. True love can wait till marriage. Only a righteous person with Bible doctrine in the soul can function in this manner. True love is basically a commitment. Feeling, emotion, selfish and childish expressions would change and fall-out of love. Fallen expectations and broken promises are basic elements that you can avoid. You have to endure them.

Personality differences, unpleasant and bad communication, misunderstanding and numerous marital problems are subjects for rebuilding the relationship not a criterion for separation. Immature couple cannot handle such problems. Marriage is a garage where both the husband and wife work to repair the errors and damages of their blissful relationship. It is not a recreation center for children to pass away their boredom.

Marriage is not the solution to many problems of the adolescent and teen-age life but a chain of problems for adults to solve and enjoy. True love is founded on the Word of God-ignited by the virtue love for God and for man. It is for the right man and right woman, not for teen-agers. God designed sex exclusively for married couples, not for those who are under infatuation or romantic love..

Our liberated society under the influence of the new morality is destroying the divine will regarding this issue. Today, love is defined as sex. Many young lovers are interested only with their passions and desire and not with the relationship. Sex is for pleasure of married couples and not for those seeking pleasures or sexual experiences. One can enjoy a relationship without sex.

God designed sex for pleasure, procreation and physical intimacy of husband and wife not for those seeking sexual adventure outside legitimate marriage. Sex before marriage or outside the legitimate marriage may end-up to broken relationships, broken family, broken hearts, separation and painful memories. Premarital sex or sex outside marriage may result to unwanted child and various social problems. Teen-age marriage always results to self-made miseries for both of the couple.

The boyfriend may force or manipulate the girlfriend to give in to sex as proof of her love, but giving in to such demand has nothing to do with true love. Some thought that sex is the only purpose of relationship between two persons. Sex with the wrong person at the wrong time is direct violation of divine protocol.  The unbelievers are of the world but for Christian to adopt the trend of the world is to reject the will of God resulting to self-made miseries.

Sex is for mature people with genuine commitment to love each other whatever transpires.  Believers who follow the trend of the world regarding free sex or the new accepted morality are living under the satanic will. The ability to have sex is not a sign of masculinity for a man and is not a sign of felinity for a woman.

Sex proves nothing. Some are biologically hungry for sex and will do anything to satisfy his lusts and passion. Sexual pleasure is temporal; it cannot fill up the vacuum, or fill-up the loneliness, the boredom and emptiness of your soul. Only God can fill that emptiness because He alone is the source of true happiness. King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines but he concluded that nothing can give satisfaction or fulfillment in love except God. Seeking happiness from men is like jumping into the river with false hope of not getting wet.

 J. R. Cherreguine Bible Doctrine Ministries